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what the Bible means and how we know

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doubt

Flying through impostor syndrome

September 24, 2015 by Krisan Marotta

ImpostorSyndrome-780

Three “random” events this week converged into one life lesson.

1) I listened to my pastor’s last sermon.

We met when I was a college freshman and he was an intern at our church.  Now he’s retiring after 43 years as its pastor.  I don’t think I was present for his first ever sermon, but I heard some of his earliest sermons while I was in college.  Though I’ve seen him in person only a handful of times since I graduated, I have followed all his sermons through the progress of technology: print, cassette tapes, CDs and finally Mp3s.

And I just heard the last one.  I feel like a bird who was just kicked out of the nest with no clue how to find the next meal.

2) My current pastor listened to me teach — in person.  Talk about impostor syndrome!  While he has been nothing but encouraging and supportive, seeing his face in the back row inspired a crushing wave of self-doubt.  The nagging trash-talk voice in my head ran wild: “You just lost one of your mentors.  Who am you to try to teach anybody anything?!  What were you  thinking?….”

3) I listened to a song by my favorite singer/songwriter Reggie Coates called “I Can Fly“, which is a glorious anthem to the confidence we have in Christ.

The song reminded me what I know to be true:  God uses impostors like me.

At times, we all think, “God couldn’t possibly use me.”  And we always have a good reason: I’m too old/young.  Or too extroverted/introverted.  Or too talkative/quiet.  Or too confident/insecure.  Or I don’t have the right education/background/pedigree/social graces/conversion story, etc..

And we’re right.  Left to ourselves apart from the grace of God, all of us are flawed, selfish and too “something”.

But God delights in taking sinful, selfish wretches like me, washing us clean in the blood of Christ and setting us on the path to glory.   As if mercy, grace and forgiveness weren’t enough, He also gives us a role to play in furthering His kingdom.

If you are a believer, the question is not whether God will use you, it is how and where God will use you.

All we have to do is humbly trust and obey. Silence the inner voice of self-doubt and “follow the pattern of sound words.”

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher,  which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me.  Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  – 2 Timothy 1:6-13 (emphasis mine)

By God’s grace, we can fly.

Learn more

 

Photo used here under Flickr Creative Commons.

Filed Under: Faith & Life, Topics Tagged With: doubt, impostor, service

Temptations of Jesus: Dealing with doubt & despair

April 14, 2014 by Krisan Marotta

Temptations of Jesus |WednesdayintheWord.com

There is an enduring caricature that the successful Christian life is always happy: that if we diligently follow Jesus, then we will have a stellar career, a happy marriage with 2.5 perfect children and everything we need when we need it.  Eventually we learn that caricature is a myth, and understand why Scripture describes the Christian life with terms like waiting, suffering and trials.

This series examines the Temptations of Jesus with the goal of learning how to face waiting and affliction with hope, trust and endurance.

Resources: Gospel of Matthew

Genre: Understanding Gospels

For each temptation, we’ll consider

  • why is the choice wrong,
  • why the choice is attractive to Jesus
  • how does Jesus respond
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1st Temptation: When God says no

Teacher: Krisan Marotta on January 11, 2009.

For a more complete discussion: 10 Matthew 4:1-4 1st Temptation: Stones to bread

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2nd Temptation: When God seems Distant

Teacher: Krisan Marotta on January 18, 2009.

For a more complete discussion: 11 Matthew 4:5-7 2nd Temptation: Jump from the pinnacle

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3rd Temptation: When life is hard

Teacher: Krisan Marotta on January 25, 2009

For a more complete discussion: 12 Matthew 4:8-11 3rd Temptation: Bow down

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I offer my bible studies, podcasts and resources free of charge under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 Unported License.  I do not seek or accept advertising, affiliations or donations. But it does encourage me to hear from you about how you used these studies and/or what you learned.


Where to next?

New Testament Studies

Old Testament Studies

Topical Studies

Bible Study 101


Photo from istockphoto.com

Filed Under: New Testament, Series Tagged With: despair, doubt, temptations of Jesus

Resentment: a biblical lesson

April 30, 2013 by Krisan Marotta

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How do you respond when life isn’t fair? It’s easy to grow frustrated with our own lot in life and resent those who seem to have it better. Consider Miriam, a prophetess who was also the big sister of Moses.

Most of the glimpses Scripture gives us of Miriam show courage and enthusiasm for God. As a child Miriam was instrumental in ensuring that baby Moses was safely placed with Pharaoh’s daughter (Exodus 2). After crossing the Red Sea, she led the people in a dance of praise to God (Exodus 15:20-21). Since she’s identified as a prophetess, presumably God used her to encourage and comfort His people during the time Moses spent in the Midian wilderness caring for his father-in-law’s sheep.

When Moses returned from his exile, his role serving God increased while Miriam’s role diminished. Eventually, she resented it.

Instead of occasional visions or dreams from God, God spoke to Moses as a man speaks to his friend, clearly and unambiguously.  Because of the newly revealed Law, the people now have an expanded knowledge of God and are not dependent on prophets like they used to be.

Prophets, like Miriam, are less necessary. And it all started with her little brother, Moses.  She vents her frustration.

1Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman. 2And they said, “Has the LORD indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?” And the LORD heard it.  -Numbers 12:1-2

God acted swiftly. He heard in verse 2. He called a meeting in verse 4. He chastised Miriam and Aaron verses 5-8,and He leaves in verse 9.

6And he said, “Hear my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the LORD make myself known to him in a vision; I speak with him in a dream. 7Not so with my servant Moses. He is faithful in all my house. 8With him I speak mouth to mouth, clearly, and not in riddles, and he beholds the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” 9And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them, and he departed. 10When the cloud removed from over the tent, behold, Miriam was leprous, like snow. And Aaron turned toward Miriam, and behold, she was leprous. – Numbers 12:6-10

The result of God’s intervention was the Miriam was leprous, the most feared and hated disease of the ancient world. Both Aaron and Moses pleaded for mercy and God limited her punishment. Miriam was quarantined outside the camp for seven days and then restored (Numbers 12:11-16).

Why did God act so swiftly and decisively—and seemingly so harshly?

God loved Miriam too much to ignore her problem. He wanted her to confront the bitterness darkening her heart. Leprosy does on the outside what resentment does on the inside.

  • Resentment disfigures the soul. Leprosy disfigures the body.
  • Resentment can cause others to stumble and fall, as Miriam drew Aaron into her bitterness. Leprosy made the nation stop and wait seven days for Miriam.
  • Resentment isolates us from others because we resent their gifts and their accomplishments. Leprosy forced Miriam into isolation in the wilderness.

God never promised that life would be fair. He did not promise that we would all be equally wealthy, happy or successful. But He has promised us the same Lord, the same grace and the same salvation.  When it matters, we’re equal. Nobody has more of Christ.

In the meantime, we should focus on the good and not the glory.

More on Miriam: 02 Understanding God’s Will – in the church

Please listen to the podcast for more detail and explanation.

Where to next?

New Testament Studies

Old Testament Studies

Topical Studies

Bible Study 101


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Filed Under: Faith & Life, Topics Tagged With: despair, doubt, envy, Miriam, resentment

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